Tired Mamas Project | Corina & Natasha
There’s nobody in the world like Corina Luckenbach. She is constantly brimming with ideas, playful, empathetic and brilliant. She owns BeBop Waffle Shop and is the definition of a boss. She gets it and everything done. Apart from being badass in business and community, she is a mother to her son Atlas and a wife to Natasha. In this unique interview, we chose to chat with both Corina and her wife, Natasha to discuss their perspectives on what being a tired mama translates to in their lives. Natasha O’Rourke-Perry, entered into Corina’s life and stepped into the role of co-parent, almost seamlessly, even if she had never intended to become a parent. Today, Natasha is in grad school to study engineering and is an intern at Boeing. We took photos at South Park Hall (another business Corina owns), and these ladies got dressed to the nines and made each other beverages. Coffee for Corina and a cocktail for Natasha. The afternoon light spilled in and painted the entire room in warmth, which is exactly how you feel just by being in the company of these two. - Melody
Do you prefer night sleeping or a daytime nap?
N: Both! I like to get lots of sleep at night and also take a nap during the day (usually this doesn't happen though). C: I never nap. I barely sleep at all.
Tell us about your sleep fantasy.
N: Sleeping all day. I honestly love sleep so much, I swear it's an addiction. If I could sleep for as long as I possibly could in the most comfortable warm bed, that would be my fantasy. C: In the summer, I love to nap in my hammock in the sun and wake up super sweaty. I have to be pretty tired to sleep deeply so I'd need to stay up late the day before, have my dog sleep over somewhere else along with Natasha and Atlas. Truly good sleep can only be had alone.
Best room to sleep in: hot room or cool room?
N: Hard question, I think cool room under nice warm covers. Otherwise I get sweaty. C: Cold room but lots of blankets.
Most comfortable sleeping position?
N: I sleep on my side. C: On my back. I slept that way for my entire pregnancy. (bad girl)
How much sleep do you get on average?
N: About 8 hours a night. C: 4 - 6 hours.
What do you drink when you wake up?
N: Drip coffee with half and half. C: 4 to 5 coffees a day is my average, sorry dentists.
How did you picture motherhood prior to having kids? N: Honestly, I did not ever really picture being a mother. I never really wanted kids, which was actually an issue in a past relationship. C: I thought it would be much harder and I thought I would be a much tougher disciplinarian.
How do you picture motherhood now? N: Now I picture is as nurturing a little human and helping them get through the world. Being supportive of who they are. Also, just doing my best, especially when I am stressed and tired, and trying to learn how to be a better parent. C: I realized that I'm a total push-over and softy. Thankfully now I have a wonderful co-parenting situation with a wife that my son adores and a lot of support from my mom friends. I love it so much more than I could have imagined. The hardest part is letting go of the kid he was last week and welcoming the new phase. It feels like all these tiny deaths.
What are the things that you thought would be the biggest challenges prior to having kids? N: Definitely sleep, also just having time to myself. Having time with my partner if we had a kid together. C: When I found out I was pregnant I had just started a small business and I didn't know how I was going to balance the two, I was also an alcoholic which made managing anything nearly impossible.
What are your most recent challenges? N: Just trying to stay sane and present with my family while also managing work and school. C: Having him only during the week makes it hard for us to really have quality down time.
What keeps you up at night? N: School and work, although typically I don't have a hard time falling asleep. C: Stress and Environmental Devastation.
How do you combat exhaustion or tiredness? N: I drink coffee or take naps. Honestly after the first cup coffee does not help all that much. If i'm in a situation where I can't take a nap, I'll go for a walk outside and drink some water. C: I accept that I will always feel tired. I used to sleep so deeply before he was born. I could sleep anywhere any time, it was my super power. Now any little whisper wakes me up. Meditation helps the most to calm my mind and body.
Who is your fictitious role model mother or primary caregiver, and why? C: Clair Huxtable from The Cosby Show, we loved that show and watched it a ton. She was a lawyer and took no shit. It felt like she ran the house and everyone feared her. Also Mister Rogers taught me to just love people how the are, keep it simple.
Who is your real life role model mother or primary caregiver and why? N: Corina. I love how playful she is with Atlas. They just really get each other and its so much fun to watch them interact. C: My mother and her mother. My mom had me at 17 and we were not like any other family. She showed me that you didn't need anyone else to be a good, working mom. My grandmother Billie was a glitz and good times, more traditional and a total love bug.
What is your unique perspective or situation in your journey as a mother or caregiver? C: I just want my kid to be the best them that they can be. Also, whenever he had a tantrum we would take a timeout together and that really worked for the both of us. N: I never planned on being a mom, I just started dating Corina and when we got more serious, I became a parent to Atlas. I've now been a parent to him since he was 2, so for him I think he only remembers having me in his life. It just sort of happened and I was like, ‘Woah, I’m 25 and a parent, I did not see this coming.’ So I've just been sort of following my gut and also checking in with Corina, Josh, and Ellen. Something else I really like is that we co-parent. Atlas has four parents and that makes it possible for each couple to not only have time with Atlas but also have time without him. It makes me appreciate both the time I have with Atlas and the time I have with Corina.
Explain your support system. What are you lucky to have and what do you wish you had more of? C: My wife reminds me to take care of myself. Atlas's father and his wife have him on the weekends and that little break helps me really cherish our time together. I just wish I had more MONEY to have less stress and more adventure. N: We have so much. So many friends that will take care of Atlas, my mom, Corina's parents, Josh's mom, Ellen's parents. He has so many people that love him and are willing to support us, honestly I can't think of anything else I wish we had. We've got it really good with so much close family and friends.
Your advice to other tired mamas? C: Let your kid lead. Don't push them to do things like potty train, just take their cues and you'll be fine. Someone told me once he won't be wearing a diaper to prom and it made me realize that kids will get where they need to go on their own terms. The more you struggle and stress won't change that. N: Be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best that you can and you don't need to be perfect. Sometimes you need to let your kid watch tv so you can take a nap, you can't always be 100% and it's better for everyone when you take care of yourself.
