Tired Mamas Project | Melanie Granger
Melanie is a force to be reckoned with and when we first started talking about The Tired Mamas Project, she was at the top of my list of women to highlight. She lights up every room she’s in, has the kindest soul and radiates love. Melanie is a single mother to her son, Taj, and they currently live in West Seattle, WA. She owns and operates We Free Hearts, co-owns the nonprofit One Million Tampons, and is also a musician in the band, Push4Luv. We took photos in my house on one gray Saturday afternoon in a dreamy lavender scape; the very one that Melanie talks about in her sleep fantasy. I hope you enjoy the scenes from the very first, and very lovely Tired Mama. Makeup by the talented Veronica Moss. - Melody
Do you prefer night sleeping or a daytime nap?
NIGHT SLEEP FOR SURE.
Tell us about your sleep fantasy.
My sleep fantasy would be to go to bed at a decent time with lavender oils permeating through the room and soft music.
Best room to sleep in: hot room or cool room?
Warm room.
Most comfortable sleeping position.
Right side on the right side of the bed.
How much sleep do you get on average?
Maybe 6 hours or less.
What’s your go-to drink when you wake up?
I drink a shot of apple cider vinegar to wake me up in the morning.
How did you picture motherhood prior to having kids? I didn't picture it at all. I never thought I would be a mother or thought about what kind of mother I would.
How do you picture motherhood now? Motherhood is the best hood (I say). It is interesting and testing at times. It is a beautiful stimulation of emotions that can not necessarily be explained through words. A mother’s love for her child is usually above all other love in that woman's life but not all moms display this deep affection towards their child.
What are the things that you thought would be the biggest challenges prior to having kids? Finding a partner who had the same beliefs towards parenting as I did. Would I be a good parent? (I never wanted to parent how my parents did). How would I discipline? if my child isn’t healthy, how would I deal? If I was a single parent, how would I deal?
What are your most recent challenges? Making time to cook dinner at home. Fitting in all activities in one day. Sticking to a routine, which I find to be the most challenging as my son has gotten older.
What keeps you up at night? My child's safety. Finances and work.
How do you combat exhaustion or feeling tired? I try to give something back to myself sometimes I choose a nice bath over sleep or treat myself to a movie. Oh, yes lots of coffee.
Who is your real life role model mother or primary caregiver and why? My community of mothers that I interact with everyday. They come from all different walks of life with various backgrounds. I get to hear their struggles and dreams and hardships which is always inspiring to me especially when I feel lonely or isolated as a parent.
What is your unique perspective or situation in your journey as a mother or caregiver? Well, that parenting doesn't have to be hard or a struggle, although there are obvious challenges. I've learned that everyone has an opinion and that's exactly where that should stay - as opinions.
Explain your support system. What you are lucky to have and what do you wished you had more of? My support system is my community of mom’s who share some of the same struggles as I do. We support each other through it all. Whether we trade days, sleepovers, pickups form school, or just give each other a few hours of peace. We know that one of us will come through.
What advice do you have for parents looking to foster or adopt? Any parent who is thinking about adopting or fostering a child need to make sure they prepare their hearts. I know it’s easier said than done. It's almost like you have to prepare your heart to get broken, and prepare your heart to know that everyone deserves love. Your job is not a personal endeavor. You may go into it thinking you're doing it for your family, something you really want based on your circumstances. Maybe you can't have children due to health setbacks. You might want to do this because it's apart of your journey, your path. But there's a lot more mental preparation that goes into it. It no longer becomes about something you need to do. Sometimes foster children come with baggage - meaning, they come with someone else's weight that has been set upon them that they don't deserve. Your job is not to reverse it but to help repair and heal. And any child that comes to your home, you need to love them the same because it's just as impactful as raising one and having one of your own.
Your advice to other tired mamas? MOMS!!! It is ok not to be around your children all the time. It’s ok to give back to yourself. There are no rules to parenting and that's ok. It's ok not to have all the answers. Last but not least, your sanity/health is essential to your child/family and is more important than most of your daily duties as a parent. If you fall apart or burn yourself out, you are no good to anyone especially your children.
